My name is...

"You're gorgeous!" says a visiting adult to resident 4 year old.
"No! I'm Nadiyah!" comes the reply. "And your name is Nesha" she screamed as she rushed at me when I opened the door to the house today. Actually, Nesha is only my middle name, but it is the name I am known in the the household... It is easier to remember being a really common name in their community. It is funny how names can function- to negotiate between the familiar and the unfamiliar and provide a comfort zone.

My other name is just an Arabic word. So far, the only other person I have come across with the same name is a MAN in Pakistan... But I like it. I would rather be called Meezan than Nesha because even though I thew it away once (Yes, this sounds absurd, but it's true!) it has become comfortable- like the pair of Gap jeans I bought the summer I spent in Toronto. Nesha makes me feel like the title of two of the entries in this blog - a poser! Like I am trying to claim something of my father's family - an elusive thing that has never truly been available to me.

I was someone else before, too! Before I was Nesha, and Meezan (and after I was Meezan the first time), I was Marianne... Don't laugh! But I would prefer that you call me gorgeous to Marianne!

Poser 2

Me, originally uploaded by zanmei east west.

Mixed origins and generally mixed up! If everywhere you lived and your formative experiences shape who you are then it would be pretty hard to define anyone by just looking at them...

Poser 1

Nahid, originally uploaded by zanmei east west.

The kid most comfortable with British life has to keep reminding himself and everyone else that Bangladesh is way cheaper, has way tastier food, is intrinsically better. Also, perhaps the kid with the softest heart is the one who has to act the toughest...

Two Lives

This is to remind myself that Vikram Seth's book "Two Lives" (the hardcover signed edition from Borders) is sitting on my shelf waiting for me to read. It is unbelievable that the story is true and that his uncle is really a dentist from India who practiced dentistry with his left-hand (he a right-handed person) here in London after losing his right arm in a war-related explosion... But sure enough, at a book reading which Sarah had tickets to, someone in the audience stood up to say that they were in fact, patients of the former good dentist.

All dolled up for Eid

All dolled up for Eid, originally uploaded by zanmei east west.

Truly from Bangladesh to Britain, my landlady's relatives and she herself are all born in London, but refer to Bangladesh as home. Eid is a time to show off all the finery purchased "back home" or for triple cost or more here.